6 years ago today, my gramps passed away. Seeing how hard my grams still takes it.. It’s just indescribable to me. Love is going to your husband’s grave, putting fresh and beautiful flowers next to it, cleaning it, and talking to him like he’s still there, telling him you’ll meet again soon. My heart melts every time my grams talks about him. Rest in peace, Gramps. You’re loved and missed every single day

I want to see myself through someone else’s eyes. Not only see, but feel what they feel of me and think what they think of me. Like just to completely understand and know their opinion of me. But only the people I care about though

going through my explosions in the sky phase again. instrumentals just really put me in such a calm mood. they always make me think long and hard about important stuff. “six days at the bottom of the ocean” is perfect for that

• mom: you can't just come home and watch scrubs all day..
• me: oh i can and i will

got to the venue around 5:45 ish and waited for like an hour and a half. got inside and got some pretty close spots, maybe like 3-ish rows of people from the stage. not complaining. arkells was great and just as i’d hoped, they did their cover of “you make my dreams come true” with Lights. so perfect. in between shows me and kelsey went to go pee and caught max, arkells’ lead singer. he was so sweet and i totally dig his hair. we went back in and waited for lights. when she came on… omg goosebumps and speedy heartbeat ALL night. she did her cover of “heart of glass” which is one of my favorite songs and ugh just phenomenal. her voice is absolutely incredible. we left 2 songs early to go by her bus and we were the first ones hehehe. got another picture with maury & adam. and met aaron this time, he’s so sweet and funny. lights came out around 11:45 and we could only get one picture & autograph since they were on a “schedule” so when she came up to me adhcjekcuenkciendksid the first thing that came out of my mouth is “you’re too perfect for words oh my god” and she says “nah far from it, but look at you, we’re like twins!” and this guy says “y’all are like doppelgangers!” and she was like “yeah right on!” and we got a picture. i stayed aside and waited till everyone left and then i kinda got to hangout with her a little bit and i got to kiss her like i originally planned the first concert i went to :’) after i got that picture, she was like poking my nose saying it’s so cute and cold and she said that we really do resemble each other. she hugged me like 4 times and kept me warm cause it was like 50° and i had a sheer tank on.. i told her how much of a positive impact her and her music has made on me and that it means the world to me that i finally got to meet her and she was like “no it means the world to ME!”. honestly it was so much more than i imagined. we talked about the last show back in march. it’s so admirable how you can tell that she’s actually listening to what’s said and she really taked it to heart, she’s so sincere and sweet. i’m still in awe that all of that happened. happiest day of my entire life and i regret nothing. we hungout with aaron after that for like 10 minutes, that was just as great. i have so many pictures and i’ll post them eventually. saw so many cool people i met last time, that was nice. i’m just so happy

i understand why people save themselves for marriage BUT how are you supposed to know if you’re sexually compatible with your significant other… like what if you get married, have sex a few times and realize you aren’t even sexually compatible. like i know that’s not supposed to be #1 in a relationship but physical stuff is just as important

but seriously, it’s so unnerving that life can be taken away so fast. it really makes me think

i don’t like talking on the phone or texting. i like being face to face with someone. i like being able to see their reaction to what i’m saying, see that they’re actually listening to me

the fact that people still think lights is a band is just annoying

it feels really good to pray and just get everything off your chest and ask for answers and just get lost in it. i feel really accomplished and better about any situation after i pray. i feel like a weight’s been lifted

but i’m happy, for once i’m fucking happy. nobody is gonna ruin this for me

“i swear the latest trend here is scooters and cocaine” -ky

haha yes, forreal though

we will never be friends if you don’t appreciate 80’s music

i wonder what you think when my name pops up in a conversation. i wonder how often i’m on your mind. i wonder what comes to mind when we run into each other somewhere. i wonder if i ever just pop in your head. i wonder what you think of everything that’s happened with us. i wonder if you think of me as much as i think of you, i wonder if you wonder these things too

i can’t even express to you guys how good thefifty shades of greytrilogy is. well i’m like 20 pages from finishing the second book but i can tell you, the first two books are amazing. everyone saying it’s a porn book or whatever, first of all,you’re annoying as fuck.second of all, if you be mature about the sex scenes, it’s not a big deal and they’re important to the story line. i’m so excited to read the last book yet i don’t want them to end. i really hope they makes these into movies. seriously, so fucking good